Monday, October 25, 2010

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It has been a long long long time ago since I last step foot here.. There is so many things going on in my head and I dont have a friend that I can share it with..=(
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I am now currently pursuing advanced diploma in financial accounting cum ACCA which means 2 in 1 and tat sucks!! Badly..! I am starting to think whether have I chosen the wrong course? Am i capable to complete my ACCA in 2years? I am starting to doubt my ability..But there is no way I can discuss it with my parents coz they will never understand and it is my own fault for insisting on choosing this course 2yrs back.. So, I will have to suck it up and complete it..
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Besides, I did badly for my previous sem exam and it affects my internship placement as i was hoping to enter one of the top 4 accounting firm. I feel that I am so useless.. Why am I so stupid? Knowing that I have no hope in entering my highly looked upon company,I have to apply to a few smaller firms and hopefully someone will wanna hire me. And fortunate enough, two of the companies that I have applied have responded. So now I am starting to worry where am I gonna stay and how to get to my office during my intern period as the location is not accessible to public transport.
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Another issue that has been going on in my head is my relationship problem.. If you are reading this, I am not trying to give u pressure.. I am sorry but I think this is the only way I can express myself .. I have been hurting someone that I love very very much so badly that it has come to a point of no return.. After the painful wake up call, I felt that my world is coming to an end..I even thought of doing the stupidest thing on earth..But luckily I didnt.. I am really afraid that I will lose him forever.. I admit that it's my fault and I am trying my very best to change..I really hope that everything will turn out to be Ok.. I promised that I will not hurt him anymore and sincerely seek for his forgiveness.. I will wait for the day where he come back to me and say I love U which I didnt realise it will mean so much to me.. Hopefully he will..
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I really need someone to hug me tightly now and tell me that everything is gonna be OK and tell me that I can do it.. I dunno how much will I be able to stand all this.. Sometimes,I really think of giving up everything and leave this place forever..Everything..